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1:04am Sunday 22nd December 2013.

Growing rush of melancholy and just a deep flush out of happiness just dawning. Killer sore throat so my pipes make me sound even more masculine than I actually want to sound plus pain. Doubt. In doubt that I’ll ever be happy or find someone that makes me happy. Close to a relapse, not quite there. Miserable. Dark circles. Infinite thoughts of cloudy haze of what happiness even is and what actually makes me happy. So far, nothing as such. Loneliness is such an awful curse to be blessed with. It’s just this weight hanging over your shoulder, a constant reminder that you’re on your own. I probably won’t find someone to ‘cuddle’ or to just make me smile. I won’t find someone who can cheer me up instantly and will know that I’m instantly upset. I was just destined to be lonely.